Monday, October 8, 2012

5 Steps to a Healthier Halloween

There are 3 kinds of parents in this world.

The ones who let their kids eat shit all year so that Halloween is not a far cry from their daily grind.

The ones who don't allow their kids to eat junk but somehow cant find it within themselves to deny their children candy on Halloween.

And then there's me...

(Well...I guess there are 4.  There are Jehovah's Witnesses too, but for arguments sake, they don't count when discussing Halloween, lol)

I LOVE Halloween.  Its full of mystery, darkness, magic, candy, pumpkins, and its the one time of year an adult professional can get away with dressing like something out of soft care porno and no one cares.  Kids love it.  Adults love it.  And when you're not busy wondering which stripper heels to wear with your super duper skankified getup, you are busy using your children as human baby dolls, dressing them up from head to toe in the most god-awful to-be-used-against-you-in-the-future garb.  Lets be honest: Halloween for parents of young children is like preplanned birth control.  It is always sure to result in a collection of pictures you will stow away for future use when your precious little 5 year old 'LalaLoopsey' turns 16 and brings some asshole home.  That's when the pictures make their glorious debut back on the walls of your home.  That and a gun rack, but I digress.  

When I first changed my diet I cringed at the thought of Halloween.  How in the hell could I deny my daughter the joys of trick-or-treating?  How could I let her go and then make her throw it all away without even one little nibble of a miniature Kit-Kat?  Was I a terrible mom?  Could there be something I could do to prevent neighbors from spoiling her with artificial colors and flavors and high fructose corn syrup?!?  I was doomed.  

We can't ignore the data and many studies that show strong links of childhood diseases to artificial colors and sweeteners.  Childhood diabetes, ADHD, autistic tendencies  allergies and a host of other illnesses appear to be caused or intensified by the consumption of Frankenfood.  There is no way, while I still have control over what my child puts in her mouth, that I would allow her to eat the same conventional junk that other kids do.

On to Plan B.  I had to convince her that she did not want the candy.  What did I do you ask?  I'll tell you!   I just follow these simple steps and I am worry free come Halloween night.

1. I bought Halloween toys and organic candy instead of the conventional crap.  My candy bowl is filled with  bubbles, stretchy skeletons, Halloween slap bracelets, stickers, organic lollipops, organic gummy bears and bags of pretzels.  Almost as much as I can't feed shit to my own daughter, I feel like a bad person contributing to someone else's allergies and other health afflictions if I serve it to others as well.  My kid or not, if it comes from me, you can bet your sweet ass its going to be healthy or organic.

2. I buy more expensive 'healthy' candy for my own daughter.  I put together a gift basket with the above mentioned items, some vegan candy bars (we LOVE LOVE LOVE Go Max Go brand).  Or, I bake special cupcakes, brownies, etc.  Or both.  =)

3.  I take her shopping the weekend or day before and she picks out a present, not to exceed a specific monetary value.  This year I will let her choose something up to $15.  We buy it together and we do NOT open it.  I put this in her surprise gift basket with candy.

4.  She goes trick-or-treating.  She comes home.  She sees the gift basket with her toy and plenty of other semi-junk candy.  She happily trades.  We let her stuff her face with several pieces of candy after all of the Halloween excitement.  

5.  We throw away the shit in the hollow smiling pumpkin pail but as I said before, I cannot stand the thought of anyone eating it, let alone us.  

In the future when she is a little older and may not see the point of continuing the tradition of going house to house just to throw away the candy, I plan on giving a monetary value to the candy she collects.  For example, 10 pieces of candy = $1.  Then, she can earn money to spend on herself.  Or she can trade 5 party size chocolate bars for one full vegan dark chocolate bar.  


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