Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Heart Breaker

Paging McFly!  It’s your favorite super sleuth here and I have some breaking news!  Its top secret and big industries do NOT want this classified information divulged to ANYONE!  I’m talking CIA shit over here!  I’m going to let you in on a secret and your mission, if you choose to accept it is to tell everyone you know!  I’m serious.  I want you to tell your spouse, your mother, your brother, your brother-from-another-mother, your kids Boy Scout leader, your pastor and your barista that you know the tried and true, indisputable fact about how to lower cholesterol FAST! 
You heard that right.  Food companies make millions by displaying a prominent red heart on their boxes in an attempt to convince us that by alone, shoving their ‘heart healthy’ cereal into your face that you will not only lose weight, but you will also lower your cholesterol.  We can’t buy into that, folks!  It’s hogwash!  Pharmaceutical companies make billions off of drugs that they sell and actually convince your doctors are the right answers all in the name of lowering that dreaded cholesterol number.  And, you, my friend, my humble blind mice, buy into the hype.  You trust your doctor with zero nutritional training.  You trust that our country wouldn’t allow such blasphemy and lies to be advertised all over the products we stock in our kitchens and homes.  You trust that when toilet paper says it’s not linty that it won’t leave your crotch looking like you were running outside naked in a snowstorm!  Well, it’s time to take matters into our own hands!  Are you ready for the secret?  The one fact that separates you from cholesterol freedom?!?!?
Are you sure?  Are you sitting down?  It’s so simple and has been right under our noses this whole time, but people are deliberately working so that you won’t recognize it.  Here it is…

The ONLY freaking food that contains dietary cholesterol AT ALL is the food that comes from ANIMALS!!!!

Yeahhhhhh….chew on that one for a while. 

Why would you want to eat this guy anyways?  He's a cutie!

This is not to confuse cholesterol with fats.  Fats do occur naturally in plant based foods, but cholesterol does NOT!  If you want to FLOOR your doctor....and I mean FLOOR!  Lower your cholesterol naturally by cutting the meat and dairy from your diet for a while.   You will be amazed!


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