Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Peace, Love & Monkey Butts

So my husband, daughter and I bought Disney World annual passes recently.  Yesterday, we decided to visit Disney's Animal Kingdom.  I know, I know (Vegans), animals in captivity is just cruel.  (BTW: How many pets do you have?). 

I know some of the animals have been raised in captivity and setting them free would likely increase their chances of meeting their untimely deaths, but seeing some of the animals locked up was a bit heart wrenching.  The gorillas, for example.  So close to humans in their makeup and so intelligent.  It just didn't seem right and they looked sad.  There was a pregnant mamma gorilla though!  I got a pretty sweet picture of her backside that I intend to blow up, put on canvas and hang above the toilet in my bathroom. 

On another note: I fully intend on writing numerous letters to Disney and if you are reading this and care about either animals or what you feed yourself, I urge you to do the same.  After getting to see all of these wild animals and visit the petting zoo where we got to pet Kitty, a big brown cow and other farm animals, we got hungry.  Lucky for us, I packed a picnic lunch because Disney's the Animal Kingdom has LITTLE to NO Vegan options.  WTF?  Here, pet our cow and now right over here you can chow down on one in this greasy carnival-food quality burger!  Yum!  :-X  Ick!  The Animal Kingdom needs to seriously work on their dining options because getting to eat animals while perusing the sanctuaries is not a ride I'm willing to jump on.

Besides being great amusement for kids, Disney is great for people watching!  One more thing that pushes my buttons: When overweight people use those free motorized carts or wheelchairs for no reason other than the fact that they are lazy fatsos.  I'm sorry - I don't care that you may get out of breathe quickly or upchuck your cheeseburger after walking a quarter mile.  All the more reason to walk!  We saw a huge woman in a wheelchair just relaxing, clearly no broken limbs or anything.  What we assume to be her husband was pushing her in the complementary Disney chair.  He was far thinner and had a brace on his knee!!!!  That poor man.  We also got to see a woman with skin the color of snow and those shorts meant for over a bathing suit, that you could literally see the bottom third of her dimply butt.  Unfortunately, I missed my chances to snap pics of these awesome sights. 

Anyhow, below is a recipe for a pretty damn goof tofu salad, if I do say-so myself.  I wish it had a better name because the name tofu-salad is definitely not appealing to anyone who has not converted to the soybean block yet, but it doesn't.  So - Tofu Salad it is.  It is however, delicious.

Tofu Salad Sandwich1 12-14oz Block Firm or Extra Firm Tofu (Not silken)
1 Green Onion, diced
2 Stalks Celery, diced
1/2 Red Pepper, diced
2 Tbsp Mustard (yellow, dijon, gourmet...whatever your fancy!)
1/2 Tbsp White Miso
1/2 Tbsp Shoyu (I'll blog on this later.  Shoyu is raw soy sauce.  You can use shoyu, tamari and Bragg's Liquid Aminos interchangeably)
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp white pepper
1/3 C Vegan Mayo, plus more if needed
Sprinkle Parsley
S & P to taste
1/2 tsp + Dulse powder (added to boost nutrition.  Optional)
Slices of whole grain, sprouted grain or gluten-free bread

Additional Sandwich 'Toppings'
Lettuce/Spinach Leaves

Drain tofu and wrap in clean kitchen towel.  (Actually, while you're at it.  Find a clean towel or buy a new one and designate this as your official Tofu Towel.)  Place a cast iron skillet on top or something else heavy to press out excess moisture.  Leave it there while you prepare and combine the remaining ingredients in a bowl, except for the bread.  When its all combined, crumble in the tofu.  Mix it up like egg salad.  It;s definitely best if refrigerated first.  Spread on bread with other toppings (I used organic Spinach leaves and sprouts pictured below.)  Its FAR less fat/calories than egg salad or any other junk you were previously spreading on your bread at lunch! 


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